Label

You were surprised i'd never had a somebody. you said that it must be boring with nobodies. You said that i could try a somebody and if i didn't like it go back to being a nobody. i don't know if i can do that, i don't know if i want you to be my somebody. i don't know if i even want the label "somebody". it scares me.
i wouldn't do anything different than if i really were your somebody, its just the label. if you need the label to stay, then thats what you have to do, but don't mention the label to me, i won't be able to stop thinking about what thats supposed to mean. if thats scaredy cat sorry, if thats a cop out, sorry.
if this is my way to maybe let myself think that its ok to be with a somebody that maybe i shouldnt be with, then i need to figure that out. i need to know more about you before this. i need to take my time, maybe i am too slow to be your somebody, and maybe that label somebody makes me feel as if there are things i am supposed to do that i should be able to decide on my own, but if the labels there i will do it before i am ready. i cannot sacrifice myself and m beliefs just to be your somebody. i cannot do everything that you want me to do. if you need someone faster paced, then i would suggest that you look somewhere else. if you think that you can respect me enough and wait for me then maybe you can be my somebody.
i feel like feeling tied down is part of being a somebody, but its not supposed to be a burden, and i feel like if i am feeling that way then you are too. and i don't really think thats fair. i think like i said that to be my somebody, i need to take this VERY slow, and i don't really think that you want to but we'll just see.
we both have tests to pass, mine is living up to the label, and yours is being patient for me to be ok with everything that a somebody entails.






*i also think that maybe you don't take this as seriously as i do and thats why i am so afraid