Admit it

why do you always expect my acknowledgement when i walk into a room where you are present? i can feel your eyes on me waiting and longing for me to look back. every time someone opens a door to where you are you just cannot resist to look and see if it is me. but you can't smile before i smile because that would just be uncool. you don't want to set yourself up for the hurt, but by looking at me and my not looking at you, what's there left not hurting? the reason i don't look is because i know that you are, and that scares me. i don't need a constant look out. not every single time i come into the room with scowl on my face does it mean that i am scowling about you. i can have things wrong in my life, i am human, and i don't want you to be the one to ask me about it; whatever's wrong

i admit, i am trying to avoid your gaze, it's just uncomfortable now...i think that it always was. probably because i knew there was something else behind it but even you can't admit to that. (not that your admitting it would help the situation any) i am not being harsh by saying any of this. you need to hear the truth. you need to take it in understand it, roll it around in your head, be hurt and actually get over it. then, move on. but i doubt that you will ever get to that point. ever.