did you?

did you want me to say it wasn't getting hard? did you want me to say that it wouldn't get harder? did you want me to tell you that we would work it out? that we could make it together? that the distance wouldn't matter? did you want me to tell you to stay strong and that i knew that you can make it through on your own? did you want me to tell you that you're all that i think about a lot? did you want me to tell you that i still think about you like every hour of every day? that i still dream about you sometimes? did you want me to tell you that it feels like it's just left hanging like wet laundry on a clothing line that just won't dry because it's too humid or rainy outside?

because that's how i feel. that's all that i know right now. that's going to get easier everyday, i think. that's going to take awhile; me being completely ok.

i want to be there for you, i don't want you to need anything else. everything else is only going to soothe for a few hours. maybe it's just those few hours of escape that you need. but your problems are going to always come back if you don't get a dose of something better, they will always loom over your head. i know that i am not strong enough to help you completely, i'm not perfect, but i do know that i am a better dose than what you really want.

right now, we all need you to be strong and just hold on. when you can't be strong, you always have us right by your side, know that, always.