i know what its like to feel the need to hurt yourself. i felt the rfrenzy three times today alone. its not scary, its not like "i want to hurt myself so im going to try" its more like you get this frenzy that won't stop itself. you cant even feel pain, its like nothing else i've ever experienced. its a release that we look for, therefore pain is not involved. its the rush knowing that you are going to see an end result, something you know you can control...