i feel like my heart's on the fly...


both literally and figuratively,

literally i think that i just consumed way too much orange pop and my heart just keeps doing this annoying fluttering...idk if thats really all that good

figuratively one day i am up the other i am down, one day i want him and the next i don't i cannot for the life of me figure out what to do. there are so many choices.


why is it that those we do not necessarily see as right for us are the easy ones for us to talk to...is it supposed to be that way with those we wind up with, or are beginnings always so awkward. i think not. i've had many beginnings thus far, and some are awkward, and some are not, it just so happens that i am not interested in anything all that much right now.


back to literally, how can my heart be fluttering away in my chest when my leadened eyes cannot seem to stay open and focused? why does my brain not function, but my heart pumps away?