dont worry...you'll be skinny again in the morning.

mom called the cops on dad"he wants to play hardball?...two can play that game."

I think its time to grow up

its funny how certain people change, and how others are still on the "i can't think for myself yet" clock. i was walking through the mall the other day and was very nervous about seeing people i know because i just didnt want to get into that. i am a very shy person, and very awkward at times; i just didnt want to get into any unnecessary awkwardness with past people that i had known. however, as i walked over a bridge i found my hand raising with a mind of its own, and a smile spreading across my face as the word "hey" came out of my mouth. there was a boy that i recognized walking towards me with a girl whom i did not recognize. he did one of those finger waves...you know the ones guys give where they raise their hands no more than a inch, palm down toward the ground, two fingers outstretched, and no higher than the waist. i wasnt sure whether this was because of the girl he was with, or if he still thought that i wasnt good enough to say hi to, or if he just realized too late that it was me saying hi. with new found popularity in the last year of highschool, i wasnt sure whether he was still ruled by that coolness even though we had participated in a group together for six years during school. i know now why it is that the people who would walk right by you in school all of a sudden act like you were best friends when they see you around college campus...its nice to have someone you have something in common with, a familiar face, someone to associate with even if you couldnt ave been friends in the immature scenes and bounds often found in highschool. if it had been anyone else from that particular "high class" group from highschool, i would have gotten a wave and a smile, but i guess maybe he just got too caught up in the status and it carried through to college. some guys will never get over that holier than thou act because it makes them feel better even if just for a second. i just wish that some people would grow up and get over their old bounds to grow towards new people and past old relationships that keep them tied to the highschool way.

Miss Negtivity

have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself...wow i want to be just like him or her?

i think we all do that sometimes. we see all the beautiful parts of someone, the parts that we want to see while simply missing all those beautiful parts in ourselves.

images are constantly passing right in front of us, making us all jealous beings. we need to take the time to find the beautiful things right inside.

one woman was going through a sort of therapy session because she was always so negative towards herself, this can be a result of wanting all those beautiful things that others possess and not acknowledging our own beauties.

anyway, in this therapy session she was told to make a list of 50 things that she liked about herself. while this may seem rather narcissistic, i dont think that any of us take enough time in the day to tell ourselves how special we really are, and what we like about ourselves.

when you focus on the negative, it can only become a habit, and ive found im sick of it, but its so terribly hard to break the habit.

i have a problem

i tend to give too much information out to people...apparently.

so apparently this gives people the right to hurt me...or maybe its me allowing them to hurt me.

i forget.

but anyway, i tried tonight to not tell someone too much, and i succeeded...i think, i hope.

i think that i am going to go nutso... i need to figure things out, i need to do things, like physical stuff, and i need to scream, run till i cant breath anymore, or till i puke, or till i fall down and cant get up.

sometimes i feel like running is my escape, it allows me to hurt myself without it being a bad way to hurt, i just have so much going on right now i dont know where to start.

on the outside i may appear normal, but its getting hard to keep up the appearances...

i think i need to see someone

you liked me
you just liked me a little too much

and we both got burned







*slow dancing in a burning room*

happiness may start out as a sad outward attempt to charm other people and convince yourself that you yourself are happy. however in the end, while living a life in the pretense i think that you can actually lead yourself to happiness.




happiness cannot find itself in windtunnels.

i didn't know i was that scary